i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
