Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
