I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
