If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
