I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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