we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
