Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
