my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
