I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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