I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
