I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
