If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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