She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
