things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
