we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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