Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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