Dual....:-)
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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