So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
