At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
