the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
