We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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