i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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