I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
