Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
