oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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