sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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