This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Randomize
