This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
