You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
you will always have a special place in my vag
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Randomize
