Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Randomize