Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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