been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
