good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize