be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
there was a trapeze. enough said
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
