So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
even my farts smell like vagina
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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