He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
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