someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
