Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
