I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Green mimosas i think yes
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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