Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
