just survived the first fart of the relationship.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
