Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
