Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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