my mouth tastes like poor choices
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
