my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
