I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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