I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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