I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
