your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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