Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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