I must be too annoying 4 u.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
