break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
