he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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