you would pick up someone in the library
is this the sara with the beer cane?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
