true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
