Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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