i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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