I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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