About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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