I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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